Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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