Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
