Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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