Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
