I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
