Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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