I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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