There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
