Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
