Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had to cum in my sink.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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