He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
