You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize