1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
