hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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