im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize