I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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