Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
