____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
