Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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