can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
