I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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