your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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