i barfeds in our rink
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
