We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
