do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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