I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
