yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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