with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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