don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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