Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Congratulations! We have a period
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
