am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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