There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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