Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
