he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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