There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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