I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
