I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
