I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
