Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
