I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
