My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
