you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
