If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
