I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
