then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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