it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you will always have a special place in my vag
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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