dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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