Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We had to coat check the pizza.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
