I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
