If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize