Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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