did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
