I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think i have herpe
just one?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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