I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
