i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
