I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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