also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
