she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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