Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Watching her eat just hurts me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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