I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
