Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
