Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
