Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize