Sry I called you an 8
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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