we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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