You're completely useless in the revolution.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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