What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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