he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Drake has all the answers
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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