you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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