you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
